Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
