C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
