so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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