Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
