suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just pee around me
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
