sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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