8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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