Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
