No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
