Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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