She's JV to your varsity
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
