We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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