a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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