How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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