haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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