I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
