by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
