Pappa wants mamma naked
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
