he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
