i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
