she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
