Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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