is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
