margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
