Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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