OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
