ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
