White coat. Heels.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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