It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
