That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
