:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
