i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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