You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
