i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
