Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
