it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
