There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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