he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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