His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
They have beer where we have blood.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
