He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
