Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize