And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
