It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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