My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
