brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
