I just saw a hot homeless man
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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