I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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