dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
