I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
