You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
